Do it yourself or bust.

So, I have taken on the overwhelming task of making my home look like new, even though it is almost 6 years old I think. This all happened when Hayden was playing on the floor in the living room and blended in. The carpet was disgusting. After looking at the carpet under my couch to make sure it wasn't just me, I was shocked...The carpet that had never seen daylight was a nice creamy beige color, the carpet that we all could see was well, here it was pink, there it was black, over there it was an indiscernible color, etc. After talking to my husband, we decided that it was time to replace it. His birthday is this week and we thought we could use the money he gets from my parents, his parents, and me and put it towards *NEW* carpet. This was the choice that caused my downfall. We picked out a nice dark brown *chestnut* carpet, it was my bishop's suggestion, he does carpet. It is lovely. After the price quote David and I thought it would be best to pull out the old carpet ourselves and save some money. Well, I had wanted new paint downstairs since I had moved in, and when we had no carpet...or were trashing what we had, I thought it was the perfect time to paint. But what color(s)? I have red and orange decorations, a sage green couch, black furniture, light sage speckled counters, and a white mantle. This made for an interesting task of picking a color to match everything and I don't like plain at all, so I had to find several colors that coordinated with all those things as well as each other, YA ME! The hardest color to find was red, I wanted an accent wall in red to match my red bathroom, but after 6 places I couldn't find one so I gave up for now. I also was having a hard time finding paint that was neutral and fun. I went to all the regular places and then took a friend's advice and went to Restoration Hardware in Trolley Square. There I picked Sycamore Grove (green) for the kitchen and the wall leading out of the kitchen into the living room and Saffron (a yellow with brown tones) in the rest of the living room and entry way. I did eventually find a red for the fireplace wall, and after 6 coats it looked good.

Well, as I am sure all of you with children can sympathize, painting with a toddler is not an easy task. I tried to keep Hayden occupied as best I could, I hired babysitters and played the TV non stop, but this only worked on the even minutes. While I was painting the wall red, Hayden announced that he wanted to help me. I gave him a toy bucket and duster and told him to paint the green wall again. He was excited and I thought occupied for a while, so I let all my attention focus on the wall. Well, I looked up to find all my outlets untapped and painted bright red. Yikes. I tried to peel off the paint, but on a standard light switch it was impossible. This gave me a new idea, I always wanted the sleeker smooth switches, so I decided to go to Home Depot and buy some to do myself. This would save money I was sure. So 16 trips and 18 hours later, I have 2 switches wired right. 2 out of 10. 1/5th. I am under the impression that the builder had no clue what he was doing, because all the switches are wired a different way. I wonder how this house passed code. LOL. Well, when David get's home from work I will have him sit in the basement and flick the breaker on and off after each switch, that will save me time from running up and down stairs. UGH I need a vacation.

I cannot wait until Wednesday when I get new carpet and can put my living room back together completely, this place is a mess. Two more days...I can do it. Since it will take me that long to finish it all.

I just don't know what I am going to do after I get all of this done.

All By Myself & Mommy's Little Helper

Hayden has a new favorite phrase.
"I do it all by myself." He says this at everything,
"Hayden do you need to go potty?" "Yes, but I do it all by myself."
"Do you want to go to grandma's?" "I do it all by myself."
Of coarse I can't let him do that all by himself,
but he does get to walk up to the door by himself.

Today as I was sitting at the computer Hayden was playing in the backyard. Since we have a small backyard and the computer is by the window I don't mind letting my "Spiderman" child play outside alone. We also have the gate padlocked, not so no one can get in (although that is a bonus), but so Hayden won't just up and walk away. He has done this, the gate latch is higher than he can reach, but he has found ways to get to it (hence the name spiderman).
I watched him drive his car up and down our little hill over and over and he proudly stated that he can do it, "all by myself".
A few moments later he was out of sight doing something else.
Since it is now spring, I have been doing some yard work, mostly planting new grass seed in the holes the dogs have dug up. I had left the bag of dirt and grass seeds out and sealed by the fence he was playing by. Now and again he would come over and yell through the window, "I did it!" "I want to do it again!" Now, although I know my child way to well to ever say this I did it anyway, "Wow, kiddo good job, do it again." After a few times of this I decided to go see what he was doing. To my surprise my 3 year old son had untied the bags of dirt and seeds and filled in several holes just like I had done a few days ago. He had used correct amounts of dirt and seeds and watered them from the dog bowls. How proud I was of my little helper. When saw this he said proudly,
"Mommy, look. I helped you, and I did it ALL BY MYSELF."

Haydenisms

"Um Sure" said in response to most anything when I ask him if he wants something.

"That's right mommy?" said when he confirms what we are doing ..ie.. "Hold mommy's hand in the parking lot, that's right mommy?"

"Say OK Hayden!" said when he asks me to do something he wants to do, most often I can't get him to repeat what he wants but he is always insistent that I say "Ok Hayden."

Funny story...may make some people feel embarrassed read at own risk****


So, one of Hayden's favorite activities is to play horsey on daddy's back. That is all innocent enough, but one day it caused some trouble.

David and I were participating in some quick fun of our own while Hayden was playing in his toy room. We closed the door and made sure we were covered under blankets in case the door were to open. Well mid fun we hear "Horsey!!" and in seconds, to my horror, Hayden was on David's back laughing and tickling him. To my great relief Hayden left without seeing anything he shouldn't and I left completely mortified.

Time to catch up

Well, it's been about three months since I last blogged. I am a slacker I know. A lot has been going on so there is a lot to catch up on.

Hayden was a dragon for Halloween. When it was time to wear his costume to school he didn't want to so he and Corban switched for the day. But for trick-or-treating they were in the right costumes.

Thanksgiving at Hayden's school was a blast. He got to wear a pilgrim's hat and they had a feast. Hayden has learned a lot this year in school and is talking more and more. He loves to be the center of attention. He has gone through 4 pair of gloves and 6 hats at school. It takes them a long time to get put into the lost and found so we have to keep replacing them.










Hayden made his very first Gingerbread House this year. It was quite the mess and very entertaining watching my 3 year old and his daddy fight over who got to do what. Santa was good to Hayden this year. He got a race track, a lot of cars, and a scooter.

Oh to be 3

Hayden is your normal everyday three year old. He loves his trains, rocket, and Dora. He is a joy to be around, even when he does things like "crashing the car" making daddy have to go save him in his pjs :) (Glad daddy was home)

He does have his moments though. His new favorite thing to say is "stop takin to me!" He uses this when he is not getting his way or when he is upset and you ask him what is wrong or offer to help. Another new thing of his is to play like he can't/doesn't hear you. We were driving home from family dinner on Sunday and I was talking to Hayden who, wasn't responding. I looked in the mirror and he has this little grin and is look away with his eyes pretending he can't hear or see me. Everyday is full of new adventures with this one. I just hope I can keep up.

Marriage Protection

There are a lot of laws being proposed to "protect" marriage. Protect it from what? The laws want to protect it in such a way to make it just between a man and a woman. That is all fine and good. But what bout protecting the marriages that are already there? Divorce has become so easy in this day and age. File online, no-contest divorce, waive the reconciliation period etc. There are laws that make the destruction of marriage so simple. Almost takes the heartbreak out of it.

I am not saying that people shouldn't be able to get divorced. It is a choice and sometimes needed. In Utah, all that is required before divorce is ONE mediation/counseling session to see if things can be worked out. Do people get along for 1 hour and chose to get married? If not then why can they end it so quickly? I know a lot leads up to getting people to that point, the point where it is easier not to care, but shouldn't there be an all out last ditch effort to avoid it?

My marriage is crap. That isn't news to anyone that is reading this. I am not writing to blame either side for this, it does take two, but it is also supposed to be a relationship where both give 100% 99% of the time. Everyone has times where they need their partner to make up a little bit of the difference but the majority of the time it is even. I also realize that 100% is different for everyone, we all have our weaknesses and shortcomings, but we need to not use those as a reason to minimize what our 100% honestly is.

Yesterday Summer watched Hayden for me (yet again) while I did some stuff for church and went to yet another interview. On one of the many times I went to her house to pick up or drop off my son she told me about a movie she saw last week. The movie is called "Fireproof" and is a low budget christian film. She told me that she would watch Hayden "on the house" if I would go see it with David...I was upset at him at the moment and said that I might just go then, while he was at work, not realizing what the movie was all about. She kindly corrected me and said I should go with him and told me the movie was about a one late ditch effort, putting it all out there, to save the biggest promise of all. A man and his wife were wanting a divorce and his father asked him to put things off for 40 days and do a dare. The dare came in the form of a book called the "Love Dare" (which you can buy at Barnes and Noble) and would take the husband 40 days to complete. Granted he could only control his actions. His wife's choices were out of his control, but he needed to dive into this dare with all he had. The first few days he was in it 1/2 assed (pardon my french) and the rest is in the movie....go watch it.

I called David and we met up at Chili's for dinner. I ran to Barnes and Noble to get the book and a journal on my way, and he kept pestering me about what I bought. I didn't tell him anything more than a vague "a book." As we talked over dinner, I told him I was done. I couldn't keep living like this. It wasn't right and wasn't fair. HE needed to change and hadn't. HE kept lying to me. I got the same response I have received from him for the past year, "things will work out." We went to the movie.

I cried the whole way through. I hadn't just experienced the same frustrations, feelings, and temptations shown in the movie, I am in the middle of them all. At first he put his hand on my leg for "comfort" and gave me the "oh poor baby" look, but as the movie went on and I was crying more and withdrawing from him more because all the feelings were on my sleeve he held on tighter.

We got home and I kept the book in the bag and placed it under the bed. I was going to wait til today to start. I still feel he is the one that has harmed this relationship the most, but this isn't about him, it's about me. Well, I woke up this morning and the book wasn't in the bag. I looked everywhere. I finally found it on his nightstand.

We talked for a minute this morning before he went to work, he read a little bit of it. I asked him if he wanted me to get another copy because you are supposed to write your feelings each day in it...he laughed and asked "When have you known me to write down my feelings." I had a snide comment for him, but as Day 1 of the dare instructs....

Day One~ Say noting negative. If the temptation arises, say nothing at all. It is better to hold your tongue than to say something you will regret later.

So I did. I do not know if this will work. I actually don't have much faith in anything at the moment, but if nothing else, I am sure I will learn something new.

I think everyone should should read this book and try it. It can't hurt anything that is for sure.

Bail Out.

David was bailed out by his parents on Halloween night, and after a never-ending weekend apart, we got the no-contact orders removed the following Monday so David could come home.  We had court yesterday, and after waiting for 5 hours David's attorney finally showed up (the actual attorney was ill and had a replacement come in) and asked for a simple continuance.  During this process the Prosecution asked for the no-contact order to stand (guess someone forgot to tell both the judge and the prosecutor that it had been lifted by them) and we had to wait almost another hour to talk to the judge again to get it modified so David could be home.

Ok so I know this is a jumble, but I will write more later  :P