Yes, you read that right. Three. Hayden turned three today. How in the world did I let that happen? I still call him my baby, he can't be three!!! But, he is and he is all grins about it. I have missed so much of his little life by having to work esp lately that it kills me to get to this point. I am bitter at David for sticking me in this situation where I have to miss things when he had promised me when we got married that I would never have to miss another moment of Hayden's life by working, unless I wanted to. What mother in her right mind wants her child raised by someone else? Granted I like the person doing the serrogate raising, but that isn't the point. I do not get to be there to send him off to school in the mornings this year, I do not get to pick him up, I don't even get to be there for his birthday spotlight at school. Really what good am I to him when I miss it all? When I can't be there when he wants to sleep at mommy's house? It kills me to have to tell him that mommy can't be there because she has to work or she has to go visit daddy in jail (since he is no longer at the doctor's). And how do I tell my three year old that even though he said please so nice he can't go with mommy to see daddy this time?
But even with all of this he still laughs at me. Yesterday we were laying in bed together (yes he is back in bed with mommy), and I asked him where Daddy would sleep when he got home (yes, I know it is an if, but this works). He thought about it for a minute and said,
"I dunno."
"Well, can he sleep in mommy's room?"
"Um, no. Hayden sleep in mommy's room. And mommy sleep in mommy's room. Daddy no sleep here."
"Well, can he sleep in Hayden's room?"
"No, mommy. (Sigh) That Hayden's room."
"Well then where can he sleep?"
"Downstairs...on green couch. Okay Mommy?!? Good, daddy sleep on green couch."
I started to laugh and then he started to laugh and we got up for the day. Today, he woke up, turned on the lights and started to giggle. Since I was "still asleep", he started to hush himself. Then he would giggle more. So I did what any mommy would do when she hasn't slept in weeks...I grabbed his toes and started tickling him, then I fell over "dead". He crept over to me and kissed me, I said up, he demanded that I die again, and he kissed me again and yelled "WAKE UP MOM-ME!" When Hayden is demanding something he always emphasizes each syllable of mommy, making into two words, its really cute.
Well I wanted to write more about him, and I have a letter for him, but it is 11:00 and I am tired. So I think I will go see if he is still in bed with his green playdough and maybe sleep alone in my bed. :)
"Well, can he sleep in mommy's room?"
"Um, no. Hayden sleep in mommy's room. And mommy sleep in mommy's room. Daddy no sleep here."
"Well, can he sleep in Hayden's room?"
"No, mommy. (Sigh) That Hayden's room."
"Well then where can he sleep?"
"Downstairs...on green couch. Okay Mommy?!? Good, daddy sleep on green couch."
I started to laugh and then he started to laugh and we got up for the day. Today, he woke up, turned on the lights and started to giggle. Since I was "still asleep", he started to hush himself. Then he would giggle more. So I did what any mommy would do when she hasn't slept in weeks...I grabbed his toes and started tickling him, then I fell over "dead". He crept over to me and kissed me, I said up, he demanded that I die again, and he kissed me again and yelled "WAKE UP MOM-ME!" When Hayden is demanding something he always emphasizes each syllable of mommy, making into two words, its really cute.
Well I wanted to write more about him, and I have a letter for him, but it is 11:00 and I am tired. So I think I will go see if he is still in bed with his green playdough and maybe sleep alone in my bed. :)
2 comments:
Cam, I know things are tough right now. You were blessed to be the mother of a very special little boy. Just remember - do everything for him, the best you can. That is all Heavenly Father asks... raise him in love and kindness... and the Lord will help fill in all the blanks!
You are doing a great job. It is hard working full time and being mom, but as long as you try as hard as you can you are doing fine. I am in the same boat, so I totally understand (the part about being a working mom and juggling everything).
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